She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
