he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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