All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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