OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
