Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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