I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This house was built for laser tag.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
