If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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