She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Randomize
