I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
