i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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