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do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
