My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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