Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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