This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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