This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
