you're like a bully in the Christmas story
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
