please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
