Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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