when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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