I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
