I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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