i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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