My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
