I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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