The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
