yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
