it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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