Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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