I wish I could punch you in the face.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
