If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
