You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
