Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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