Have you finally orgasmed yet?
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
