well you can't waste a boner
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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