I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Also, beer. Big fan.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
