i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
