Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
