Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
