I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
