Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
