he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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