Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
