no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
