He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
