If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
