I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
