Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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