Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You should frame my arrest warrant.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
