Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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