Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
